Health Screening

We had health screenings at work yesterday. I’m not in terrible shape for a 50 year old fat guy – even if I’m a 42 year old skinny guy…

The lady said my cholesterol wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t good either, and that I needed to eat less red meat, dairy, and saturated fats (whatever that is). Basically she said don’t eat anything that you like, and handed me a bag of twigs and grass for a snack since I had to fast for the tests.

She then proceeded to talk to me about the best place she ever got a steak, and described, in detail, all the glory of said steak right down to the restaurants speciality sauce. I know how they grilled it. I know how it was the perfect temperature. I know how she had more than one. I know how she just told me not to eat that stuff and handed me a little baggy of deer food…

That’s the meanest thing anyone has ever done to me.

I’m having a footer with sauce and cheese for lunch just to spite her and her stupid perfect steaks.

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